


Something Sacred

by Chia_P



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 10:05:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10435296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chia_P/pseuds/Chia_P
Summary: Kuro wants to date Shu, but he's not quite sure where to start. The other boy tolerates him, but he doesn't seem particularly interested in Kuro-or anyone really. He wonders if maybe Valkyrie's leader just doesn't like people like that, since not everyone does. KuroShu with Asexual Shu





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Ensemble Stars Big Bang challenge on Dreamwidth.

Kuro Kiryu is laying on his back, staring at the darkened ceiling of his room, and thinking harder than he really wishes to at this time of night, or most times really. He's wondering why things have to be so complicated, especially when it comes to one pink haired boy. Shu Itsuki had been his close childhood friend. They are kind of friends now, but it's different. Surely, years apart have changed them, and they have grown a bit more distant and grown differently, but Kuro still feels attached to his old friend. Meeting Shu again in high school has been quite an...experience. Kuro thinks that puberty treated Shu pretty well, with striking features and a lean build. Yep, the pink haired boy was most definitely pretty attractive. It's thoughts like that which have made him begin to think that his feelings might be less of the friendship kind these days.

He's glad that Shu treats him as an equal rather than a puppet, even if he does get huffy and give Kuro shit he probably doesn't deserve but still feels that he does. He's kind of figured out that's Shu's defense mechanism. He seems to know that the redhead is a strong person on equal footing, but that doesn't mean that Shu will return his feelings. Kuro is worried that this could get pretty...complicated. The other boy tolerates him, but he doesn't seem particularly interested in Kuro-or anyone really. He wonders if maybe Valkyrie's leader just doesn't like people like that, since not everyone does. At least, with Shu speaking to him without the assistance of Mademoiselle the majority of the time, Kuro thinks they might be able to communicate and work it out if his friend would actually be open to becoming more.

There is also the fact that, even if Shu is interested in a romantic relationship, he might have no interest in or desire to have a sexual one. The more Kuro has thought about actually dating Shu, the more he has carefully considered the implications of this. Kuro certainly enjoys sex, oral, hand jobs, and other related activities, but he is also sure that's something he can take care of on his own. Even though he's had sex a few times, it's not a regular thing in his life. Sometimes, an orgasm is an orgasm. He definitely rates emotional closeness and trust higher on his list and has been more upset than he'd like to admit when things hadn't worked out with people before.

Kuro groans and rolls over onto his side. That line of thinking brings up another issue for him. The more he thinks about it, he is concerned about how Shu would take it if they started dating and things went poorly. Shu, for all he tries to act like a harsh and haughty person, is still extremely sensitive. The redhead cares a lot about his friend's well-being and doesn't want to harm him. On the other hand, he doesn't want to assume that he knows what the other boy wants. He makes up his mind that the only way to know for sure is to spend more time with Shu and see how the other boy reacts.

~~~~~

The next afternoon, Kuro makes his way over to the Handicraft Club's room, sewing supplies in hand. It would be a change from sewing in the dojo, but working together in silence seems like a good first step. He slides the door open a little and peeks in to see Shu bent over his work, carefully pinning a garment. He slides the door open the rest of the way and softly speaks. “Can I work in here?”

“Dom't you usually work in the dojo?” Shu questions without looking up from his work.

“Yeah, but it's a bit hectic right now, and I need to concentrate.” It's definitely not a lie. There has been a lot going on recently, and Kuro wants to teach Tetora about discipline and responsibility by leaving him in charge. He is confident that the kid is up to the task.

Shu sighs. “Fine. Just don't interrupt me.”

The redhead sits down at a table without any projects on it and lays out his materials. He begins to work without uttering a word. He comes back the next day...and the next...and the day after that. Mika had looked so uncertain that first day when he walked in to see Kuro there, but he's begun to relax. Every time the younger boy slips up and calls him “Ryuukun-san” he can't suppress a smile. He thinks of how Shu must still call him that when it's just the two if them. Icchan is just too cute, even though he tries to hide it.

~~~~~

A couple weeks into balancing sewing with Shu and taking care of his Karate Club duties, Keito confronts him. It's after Akatsuki practice, and Souma has just taken his leave before Keito approaches him. He stares at Keito with a questioning gaze and waits for him to speak.

“It's obvious to everyone with eyes that you're going after Itsuki.” Keito starts in without preamble.

“I don't see why that's yer business.” He counters.

Keito glares as if Kuro is being particularly obtuse. “Whatever reputation you have in other parts of your life can impact Akatsuki. You'd do well to remember that.”

Though there's truth in his unit leader's words, being bossed around brings out the belligerence in him. “The archery hall doesn't have soundproof walls. Ya'd do well to remember that.” 

The dark haired boy's face goes redder than his Akatsuki uniform. He sputters, “j-just don't embarrass us!” He shoots Kuro a glare and stalks off, thinking of how his “what happens in the hall stays in the hall” policy has some...weaknesses.

~~~~~

To his surprise, Kuro isn't the first one to initiate physical contact. He had forgotten how touchy-feely Shu could be sometimes. The redhead thinks his friend probably relaxes when he is in his element-designing and sewing in the club room. Though they are often busy with work, the room isn't usually filled with people. It is often just Shu, Mika, and him with Anzu popping in and out or someone else coming by to be measured or discuss costumes. Hajime also joins them on occasion to learn from Kuro, admire Shu's work, and whisper with Mika, unless a particularly stressed Shu fusses at them to be quiet. With Mika and Hajime both busy with part time jobs, there are sometimes days when it is just the two of them, and those are the days when Kuro notices the touching the most.

Shu often puts a hand on Kuro's shoulder or arm and lean over to check his work. If he doesn't move his hand to point to a specific seam or embellishment, then it lingers. Kuro has recently realized that Shu doesn't rest his hands on Hajime or Mika like that. With them, it's more of a tap or a pat. Kuro has recently started doing the same to Valkyrie's leader and has never felt Shu move away or tense. He always seems relaxed.

The pink haired boy hasn't noticed this habit of his, especially since his mind is often consumed with other matters. He does notice the new presence of his childhood friend's warm hands on his shoulder or bicep, and it's...nice. It's actually comforting, despite their complicated history, and he leans into it. He finds himself missing it when Kuro walks away, but as time passes, Kuro stops walking away and starts working at the same table as him. As the days get colder, the redhead moves from across the table to sitting next to him and occasionally smiling over at him. He wonders why his friend is being so weird, but it doesn't really bother him. He likes Kuro's smile...and his warmth. He wouldn't admit it if anyone ever asked though. Shu is clear when he doesn't want someone to do something, but he's not quick to acknowledge that he likes things, other than croissants, dolls, and really nice fabrics. He will never, ever admit that he likes it when Kuro stops for a break and comes to lean against his shoulder. He's only holding his embroidery hoop with the hand on that side, so it's not really an inconvenience.

One afternoon, Shu breaks the comfortable silence, "ok, move. I have to change where my hoop is." Kuro, who has been embroidering details on a new Akatsuki uniform, moves away. A few minutes later he adds, "you can move back now." 

Kuro is surprised that Valkyrie's leader would actually call him back. It's the first time Shu has actually spoken about this. It hasn't hindered either of their projects the times that the redhead does it, and he's still not sure if Shu is calling him back because he wants Kuro there or assumes that Kuro wants to be there. He realizes that he really does need to start talking to Shu about dating, but he's never been so good at these things. At least it's just the two of them in the club room today, so it's probably the best chance he will get. Kuro leans back and works in silence for a few minutes before trying to speak. "So..."

"Yes?" Shu asks without looking up.

"Uh, would ya...do ya think..." He doesn't know exactly how to ask and wishes he had taken a minute to try to consider various options and the ways they might piss Shu off before starting.

Shu huffs impatiently. "What are you trying to say Ryuuk-Kiryuu?"

Kuro scrambles to think of maybe a slower step than a date. "I've never been to that bakery ya talk about. Do ya want to go together."

"All that indecision over a bakery? Of course we can go." Shu snorts and keeps stitching.

Fuck. Kuro swears that Shu is even denser than he is. He tries to think of a way to make it clear and not creepy. "It's less for their delicious baked goods and much more for spending time with ya."

Shu stiffens. "I don't know what's gotten into you. Coming here, spending all this time with me. Why do you want to even be here?" He just doesn't understand why someone would want to be around him this much. He's always thought Mika was weird for not leaving and now this. Ryuukun is back and becoming a regular presence in his life again. It's too nice; he's suspicious and most certainly unprepared for Kuro's answer.

"Because I like ya." The words come out of his mouth before he can stop them.

Shu immediately slams his palms and project down on the table, unceremoniously shoves his chair away, and jumps to his feet. He turns to look at Kuro, who, at this point is on the floor due to how he had been leaning against his friend.

Shu scowls and Kuro is worried that he's made a serious mistake. Shu yells, "How dare you tease me! You of all people!"

Kuro's eyes widen and he scrambles up from the floor. "No, no! It wasn't a joke. I'm serious! I-" He cuts off his words as he grabs Shu's shoulder. He's probably already fucked anyway, so why not? He pulls Shu in for a hug. It's loud at first, since Shu's screams are now much closer to his ear, but as he rubs circles into Shu's back while holding him firmly, the other boy quiets.

"You're so horrible," he mumbles into Kuro's blazer.

"I know." Kuro replies gently. They stand there for a while, neither one uttering a word.

Shu is just leaning against Kuro. No one has wrapped him up in a hug like this since, well, the last time Kuro did years ago. Mika is a handsy person with Shu and pulls him to bed when he tries to work through the night or hugs him after a live backstage, but it's different than an “I am strong and will hold you forever if you want” hug. It's not the same as when they were kids, but it's nice in a different way.

They're not little kids sharing the same bed at sleepovers or anything now. It feels more...well, Shu isn't quite sure, but it feels like more thought goes into it. They know boundaries and other barriers better at this point and Kuro is still grabbing him and holding him close-very close-in the middle of the Handicraft Club's room.

He doesn't get how Kuro could just hug him for this long, but it's nice. It's not really awkward, well now that he isn't wiggling around and yelling. He doesn't know how Kuro could put up with him. Even though Kuro is a stubborn pain in the behind, Shu feels as if he was still broken beyond repair, a miserable half-being tied to this earth by the strings of his puppets. He breathes deeply to try to calm himself. Kuro smells good, not being the type to use harshly scented aftershave or disgusting cologne. He just smells clean and maybe softly of pine and spices.

Kuro is reluctant to break the silence, but someone has to do it. "Hey, are we ok now?"

"Hmm?" Shu makes no effort to move.

"Ya know I wasn't teasing ya, right?"

"Mmm-hmm."

That is progress. And a good sign. Kuro thinks he better make sure everything is spelled out, since Shu is definitely the type of person who doesn't get these things. "Are ya pissed off at me?"

"No." Even though it's muffled in his blazer, Shu knows Kuro can hear the unspoken "you fool" at the end. If he had been truly upset, he would have booted Kuro right out the door and probably tossed his sewing supplies out after him. Instead, he's leaning more and more into Kuro as the other boy stands there holding him.

"So, wanna take a break and go on a bakery date?" Kuro's heart begins to pound as Shu lets go and moves away to look up at him.

He narrows his eyes and frowns. "You're serious, aren't you?"

Kuro tries to look cool and calm, but he's more anxious than he'd like to admit. "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."

Shu sighs as if he is truly put upon. "Fine. Let me pack up my work, and then we can go."

The tension releases from Kuro's shoulders, and he begins to pack up as well. It's silent and a bit awkward as they gather their belongings. He would bet good money that Shu has never been on a date, and Kuro doesn't know what to expect from the lovable, eccentric boy.

They lock up the club room and head out. The redhead can't tell if their silence is comfortable or not. He's feeling a bit nervous and thinks his friend might be as well. He gets confirmation shortly after they leave the school grounds, when Shu slows his pace and falls behind. He turns to see panic on the pink haired boy's face, as he clutches Mademoiselle close to his chest. He slows his pace, turns towards Shu, and asks, “Are ya ok, Itsuki?”

A high pitched voice answers. “Shu-kun isn't prepared for this. He has no idea what to do.”

The redhead smiles gently at the doll, deciding it's probably best to address her rather than trying to speak to Valkyrie's leader directly. “I think lots of people feel that way about this stuff. He doesn't need to worry though. I just want a chance to talk outside of school and get to know him better.”

“You already know him.” Shu replies through the doll.

“We spent a lot of time apart though, and I think there's lots I don't know. Dates are about spending time together and getting closer.” After a few more steps, Kuro realizes that the other boy has completely stopped walking. He halts and turns to face his slender friend. Shu's fury is palpable, and Kuro doesn't know what set him off. "Uh...Itsuki?"

Shu is so mad that he just can't function. What does Kuro mean by getting closer? He knows what couples do, though he often tries to forget the vulgar things he hears in passing from bragging schoolmates. Does Kuro want to do that to him? Does that scoundrel just think he's vulnerable and broken and will be easy to push into it? He almost feels sick. He almost feels close to tears. He almost wishes he'd never agreed...but only almost. Ryuukun couldn't have grown that cruel though, right? 

Over the years, Kuro had grown softer in some ways, and Shu had hardened. He'd become bitter and abrasive. He had to tell himself he was above everyone else just so he didn't feel worthless, and even that had fallen apart. He worries that maybe he's getting bitter and defensive too quickly. Yes, people are awful, but Kuro isn't just "people" to him.

Kuro is watching Shu carefully. His friend hasn't replied, but the storm in his expression has subsided a little. He decides now is probably a good enough time to ask again. "Itsuki, what's up?"

Shu hears him this time and doesn't know what to say. He opts for addressing the redhead directly in a snappy and aloof tone, since that's usually safe. "Just what exactly do you expect from me on this 'date?'"

Kuro isn't sure whether he's more concerned or amused. Laughing would definitely be bad, but Shu is so out of his element that it's a bit amusing. Then again, maybe it's reasonable for someone to jump to those conclusions from how he's heard some of the guys around school talk about their conquests. "Really, you don't have to worry. I don't expect anything."

Shu looks more annoyed. "Well then, on which date are you going to expect it?! Is there a threshold when I owe it to you?!" His voice is getting higher in pitch the more he talks. It's an unusual expression of his anxiety by now but still surfaces when he's more anxious than angry or frustrated.

It dawns on Kuro what Shu is thinking about. In that moment, Kuro realizes it really is a thing they very well might never do and definitely need to discuss. He speaks lowly and reassuringly, not reaching out to touch his friend just in case. "Hey, I don't expect that of ya, nor will ya ever owe it to me, ok?"

"Don't lie to me!" He yells and neither of them notices nor cares when a few people on the sidewalk glance over at them.

Kuro keeps his voice low. "I'm not lying."

"That's what everyone wants though! I hear people talking about it like its a milestone." The hand not holding Mademoiselle is balled into a fist, and he looks both disgusted and on the verge of tears.

The larger boy is doing his best to keep calm. After taking a deep breath, he asks, "Well, do ya want it?"

"N-no I..." Shu pauses. He hasn't thought about it much. Having someone do things to him or with him just...it disgusts him. The puppet master becoming some sort of sick doll-heck, even someone doing that to a doll-disturbs him. Then again, Kuro isn't just "someone" to him. A person who was just "someone" would have gotten thrown out or at least threatened and shoved off for that hug from earlier. "I don't think I do."

The redhead smirks. "There ya go then! Not everyone wants it. I don't expect it from ya or think ya owe it to me." He pauses, wanting to be upfront. "That doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't like it. It's something that I'm interested in, but I'd never want ya to do something like that if ya didn't want to, ok?"

Shu nods. He schools his expression into resting bitch face and starts walking again. He's thankful when they reach the cafe. Even though these are different circumstances, at least his surroundings are familiar. He places his usual order of a croissant and English Breakfast tea with one sugar, but Kuro insists on paying, saying that it was his idea so it's his treat.

They find a table in the corner, and Shu delicately places Mademoiselle near the wall on a handkerchief that he brought for her. He watches Kuro approach them with a tray in his hands. The taller boy sits their dishes on the table and leaves to return the tray. Shu takes a steadying breath as he waits for the redhead to come back.

Kuro is glad to see that Shu looks a little calmer when he joins him at the table. They sit in silence for a few moments while they nibble on their baked goods. He feels as though the air between them is less tense this time, so he decides to try to strike up a conversation. He doesn't want to start with anything too deep. Small talk about the food leads into small talk about their sewing projects and day-to-day activities. He talks about cooking and about his sister. He so wishes she'd call him “onii-chan” like she did when they were little. He laughs a bit when Shu admits to still calling his brother “onii-san”.

Shu shares a little about his family and how his grandfather is always scolding him. They haven't caught up like this before, and it feels to him like their lives might be slowly weaving back together. He finds that he likes that idea. He talks about the oven he built and how baking is becoming another one of his major hobbies, though sewing will always be the activity he enjoys the most.

Kuro doesn't think he's heard his friend share this much since their childhood when he would introduce Kuro to a new doll and tell him all about her. It warms his heart to see the soft, unguarded expression on the pink haired boy's face. Many precious things in life are fleeting, and their moment of contented warmth ends when Shu's phone buzzes.

“Mon dieu! It's gotten so late that Kagehira texted me saying my mother wants to know where I am and if I'll be home for dinner. I didn't realize.” He begins to rise and stack his dishes.

The larger boy stands up as well. “I didn't notice either.” He takes Shu's dishes from him and carries them along with his to the dish return counter before heading back to the table and grabbing his things. “I'll walk you home.”

After slowly tapping out a short reply to Mika, Shu picks up Mademoiselle and her handkerchief before turning to leave. “That isn't necessary.”

“I know it's not, but I'd like to do it.”

“What about making dinner?”

Kuro holds the door open for the other boy and replies, “We're heating up leftovers tonight, and my sister's practice runs late, so I'll be home in time.”

Valkyrie's leader doesn't answer him. He merely gives the redhead a half smile and nods in the direction of his house, though it's entirely unnecessary to do so, since Kuro still knows the way by heart. He's glad that they are finally walking in completely comfortable silence, Honestly, he didn't expect to enjoy their little excursion as much as he has been. It was awkward at first, but it feels like carefully cleaning layers of grime off of antiques to reveal their true beauty.

Before too long, they reach the front gate of the Itsuki residence. Shu feels himself growing a little nervous again. He wonders how he should say goodbye without being awkward. He's relieved when his friend takes the lead.

“Thanks for the nice afternoon. I'll see ya tomorrow.”

“Right. Yes. Tomorrow then.” His back is ramrod straight, and his face is quickly becoming pinker than his hair.

Kuro simply smiles warmly before turning and waving a casual goodbye over his shoulder. He doesn't want to accidentally do something physical that might upset the other boy.

Shu has to remind himself to breathe as he makes his way to the front door. Just as he is about to turn the handle, the door opens, mismatched eyes staring eagerly into his. Before Mika can say anything, he points at the younger boy and sternly says, "Not a word."

The dark haired boy is bursting with questions he's dying to ask, and he struggles to not bombard his unit leader with a million of them. He can see embarrassment not only in the color of the taller boy's face but also in how his movements are less fluid and his shoulders are tense. He looks flustered more than angry, so Mika assumes that it must have gone fairly well. Before his self control wavers, he shuffles away to text Arashi about it. 

~~~~~

Kuro continues to take Shu on little dates to ease him into dating. They're also on the shorter side because he wants to see his sister in the evening and help with anything she needs. She keeps insisting that she's perfectly fine and that her brother should focus on his own life. The redhead tries to find a balance between the two and starts taking Shu out on weekends when he knows his sister will be out with her friends.

They go fabric shopping together and have lunch at different cafes that Shu has been wanting to try. One day, Kuro suggests art museums. Even though they aren't his thing, he wants his boyfriend to be in at least one of his elements. He's still a little over the moon that they recently became official, and he doesn't want to ruin it.

Shu looks at him skeptically and crosses his arms. “Since when have you been interested in something like that?”

“Well, I...”

Purple eyes narrow. “You're not, are you?”

Kuro reaches a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Not really.”

“What do you usually do in your free time then?”

“Uhh, I sew costumes, cook at home, try to help my sister...” He tries to think of what he actually does. “Sometimes I chill at home and watch variety shows.”

“We could stay home and do that.”

The redhead is surprised, He thought his boyfriend would call the shows vulgar. “Are ya sure ya wanna?”

“It sounds fine.” Shu huffs. “It's better than being around so many people.”

“Ok, do you want to come over for dinner next Saturday? We can have a quiet evening at home.”

Shu's lips turn up in a slight smile. “That sounds agreeable.” 

~~~~~

Shu hasn't visited Kuro's house in so long. It feels a bit wrong without Mrs. Kiryu around, but he tries not to dwell on it. It's easier said than done, but, as they're sitting down to dinner, he feels a little more at ease. He's moved from doing his best not to say anything to simply enjoying his boyfriend's company. Mademoiselle staid at home, so she doesn't have anything to say about the visit.

After dinner and washing dishes, they head to Kuro's room to watch a few variety shows on a small television. The redhead grabs the remote before sitting down and flipping to the correct channel. Shu settles in beside him and rests his head on his boyfriend's muscular shoulder. Kuro smiles warmly down at him and wraps an arm around the slender boy before turning his attention back to the television and finding the right channel.

After a half hour of peaceful cuddling, Kuro looks down and remarks, “I thought ya considered shows like this vulgar.”

“Hm?” The pink haired boy had been lost in thought mulling over new costume designs he'd sketched the night before and enjoying his boyfriend's warmth. 

Kuro laughs. “I said I thought ya found shows like this to be vulgar, and it turns out ya weren't even paying attention.”

Shu frowns up at him. “I wasn't aware that paying attention was a requirement.”

“I guess not.” A cheeky grin crosses the larger boy's face. “What are the requirements then?”

“Making dinner and spending a quiet evening enjoying each other's company.” He answers in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Oh? And how are ya 'enjoying my company'?” He leans down, bringing their faces closer together.

“J-just fine, thank you.” He can feel redness creeping into his cheeks and is asking himself why he didn't just take the safe route and say something snarky.

“I'm glad.” Kuro rests his forehead against Shu's.

This sets the pink haired boy at ease and reminds him that being open with his boyfriend is ok. He hopes it'll stop seeming so scary. It already has to some extent. He hates the words that come next though.

“It's getting late. I should probably walk ya home soon.” Kuro sees the look of disappointment forming on the face peering up at him. “Don't worry, we can do this again if ya liked it.”

“Fine.” He tries to recover from what he fears might have seemed needy. “I just wish it would last longer.” He cringes as he digs himself deeper. Will Kuro think he's getting clingy if he acts like this? He doesn't think Kuro is clingy when he suggests they spend time together, so he wonders if he's beginning to worry a little too much over nothing. It wouldn't be the first time.

“Do you want to spend the night next weekend then?”

“What?” Shu hates how the question comes out as a bit of a squeak.

For his part, the redhead holds back a chuckle. “Ya can sleep over and go back in the morning if ya want to stay longer.”

“Are you sure that's acceptable?”

“It's fine with my family, so I guess it depends on yours.”

“I hope it will be.” He isn't looking forward to asking his mother for permission, but it really can't be helped and will definitely be worth it if she agrees.

~~~~~

When Shu asks his mother, she is happy to agree to the sleepover. The fact that it will be with Ryuukun rather than with someone whose family she doesn't know helps his case. Mika doesn't have to ask for the same kind of approval for his activities but jumps at the chance to have an easy opening to ask about staying overnight with Arashi. That's how both members of Valkyrie find themselves heading out the door with overnight bags in hand. 

Both Kuro and Arashi are already standing at the front gate trying to look casual waiting in a mostly comfortable silence. Both of their faces light up when their boyfriends arrive. Arashi beams brightly with glittering eyes, and Shu is happy that Mika has someone so bright and caring in his life. Everything kind of slows for him though, when his eyes meet Kuro's. They're crinkled at the edges looking so warm and inviting. He's not sure whether it's his heart or his stomach that does a flip, but he feels both embarrassingly giddy and reassured.

The four boys say goodbye and head off in pairs, excited about their respective evenings. The walk back to Kuro's house is uneventful. Shu imagined he would have been filled with more anticipation or nervous energy, but Kuro is so warm and calming. He's a very strong and steady presence. Shu is coming to appreciate it more each time they are around each other.

Kuro unlocks the door, and they remove their shoes. Shu places his bag in Kuro's room and then heads to the kitchen to help him with dinner. As Shu is quietly and precisely chopping vegetables beside him, Kuro thinks of how glad he is that they can just spend warm evenings like this and hopes they'll continue to cook together and spend relaxed nights at home.

Kuro's sister walks in right as Shu is meticulously setting dishes on the table. They all sit down to eat. A few minutes in, Kuro clears his throat and starts in on what his boyfriend begins to think is his usual kind of questioning. "So, how was your day?"

His sister looks up at him briefly. "It was fine."

"What did ya do?"

"We went out." She answers curtly.

Kuro skeptically raises an eyebrow. "Yeah. I already knew that much."

His sister sighs. "Don't make that face, aniki. Minami, Yuka, and I went to the shopping district to look around and then had a snack at a cafe.”

“Without anyone else with ya?”

She rolls her eyes. “Minami's brother walked with us. Come on, we're old enough to go together in a group.”

“But ya-”

“Enough,” Shu cuts in, “eat before dinner gets cold.”

Kuro's sister smirks. “I like him, aniki. He should visit more.”

The Karate Club's captain will absolutely deny that he pouts at this or at any other instance where his sister tries to brush him off, but he ceases with his questions and finishes his dinner. He definitely does not sulk a tiny bit as he and Shu wash the plates afterwords. 

When they get settled in Kuro's room for the evening, his boyfriend tries to distract him from his thoughts about his sister by snuggling into his side and is please when his endeavors are successful. The larger boy wraps an arm around him, and they settle in for a couple hours of television and cuddling. 

Getting ready for bed is mostly a simple affair of baths, Shu's meticulous skincare routine, brushing teeth, and eyeing each other's pyjamas. Kuro's t-shirt and cotton pyjama pants and Shu's satin top and bottom are just what the other expected. Amused, Kuro gestures to the bed. “Are ya ready to turn in?”

“Yes. I was told by both my mother and Kagehira that I should get a good night's sleep for once.”

Kuro crawls into bed trying not to wonder if Shu's mom was trying to imply, “Don't stay up having sex,” with her comment. He's rather not think about Shu's mom thinking about them getting it on. Shu sliding into bed beside him is a welcome distraction from the new and awkward idea that he will probably use to kill any unwanted erection in the near future. “Is it ok for me to put my arm around ya?”

“Yeah.” Shu wiggles so that Kuro's chest is warming his back and lets one of his boyfriend's arms drape around his middle. He's so comfortable that he finds his many late nights catching up with him and quickly falls asleep.

~~~~~

The next morning, they're both reluctant to leave the bed. Shu usually gets up and starts his day shortly after waking, but he definitely does not start any of those days securely held by one of his boyfriend's strong arms. Nor is said boyfriend usually nuzzling into his neck while sleepily grumbling morning greetings. It's certainly an exception.

Kuro is glad that the pink haired boy hasn't tried to wiggle out of his arms yet. Shu is soft and warm-he smells great too, and Kuro presses his face to the back of Shu's neck and tries to take in everything. After a few minutes, he reluctantly lifts his head and sleepily squints at the clock. “Mmm. I guess we should get breakfast soon.”

“Nooo.” Shu's protest comes out as almost a whine. “I will never forgive breakfast for putting a stop to this.” He feels Kuro's chest rumble as he chuckles.

“It doesn't have to be a complete stop. You heard my sister last night. She likes ya, and I'm sure ya'd be welcome back next weekend too.”

“Ok. Maybe I can forgive breakfast...even though it doesn't sound appealing.” They reluctantly drag themselves out of the bed and to the kitchen for a quiet breakfast. They then get dressed and make their way back to Shu's house as slowly as possible while making plans for the next weekend.

~~~~~

After a few weeks of these weekend visits, Kuro is amused. He can't believe Shu is so pure. Shu slips into bed, cuddles for a bit, and then says goodnight. The pink haired boy is often the first to lean into him and might peck him on the cheek, but Kuro has initiated every time they kiss on the mouth. He decides it might be time for another talk about comfort levels. Even though these always feel a bit awkward to him, neither of them can know what the other one is thinking otherwise. The next time Shu is over and they're cuddling in front of the television in Kuro's room, he asks, "Hey, Shu, do ya like it when I kiss ya on the lips?"

"If I didn't, you'd most certainly know it." Even though he was trying to be sassy to offset his anxiety that's beginning to bubble up to the surface, his body still becomes tense.

"I don't doubt it," Kuro chuckles to lighten the mood. "It's just that, I'm always the one to do it first so I wasn't sure how much ya liked it."

Shu relaxes a little. "I like it, but by the time I think to do it, you're already moving to kiss me."

Kuro smiles and leans down for a kiss. When he breaks away, he continues, "I guess, I just haven't found a way to measure what's ok to try."

"You could ask." Shu only half manages to sound condescending.

"Wouldn't it kind of ruin the mood if I asked, 'hey, do ya wanna cuddle shirtless?'"

Shu frowns in confusion. "Mood?"

Kuro shakes his head. "Never mind. Anyway, do ya wanna cuddle shirtless?"

Valkyrie's leader sighs. "You could have just asked that instead of going through all of this." Frankly, he feels caught between being self conscious due to feeling like he doesn't know a set of rules or ideas that others do or being annoyed that such ridiculous ideas are there in the first place.

Kuro isn't ready to get in a discussion about it, because it's obvious they aren't reading the situation the same way. He smiles and simply replies, "Well, now I know for next time."

Shu nods and then seems to realize something. "Oh, and we can cuddle shirtless when we get into bed if you want."

The readhead almost laughs. "Ok, sounds like a good plan." He hugs Shu closer to him. They finish pretending to watch the variety show that was playing and get ready for bed.

Shu is carefully folding his silk pyjama shirt when he speaks. "It seems a shame to not wear the set."

This time, the larger boy can't hold back his amusement. "Tell me if ya feel the same way ten minutes in." He can't resist winking at his boyfriend.

Shu snorts and they crawl into bed. It's warm and pleasant and soft. He absentmindedly curls a couple of his fingers in Kuro's chest hair. Akatsuki apparently hasn't had a live show that required him to shave or wax it recently.

Kuro begins running his hands down the bare skin of Shu's back. It's so smooth and soft. Shu is soft in general. Even his hard exterior still houses a soft, sensitive person that almost no one gets to see. There's a reason Mika is completely unaffected by Shu's insults and why Kuro could brush off most of what Shu used to verbally throw at him.

After a while, Shu whispers, "has it been ten minutes?"

"Probably, why?"

"Because it's still bothering me that I'm wearing my pyjama pants without wearing the matching shirt."

The redhead is proud of himself for not bursting out laughing at that. "Do ya want to put your shirt back on?"

Shu snuggles closer into Kuro's chest. "Not really." After a moment of silence he asks, "would it be ok if I take my pants off instead? I can't stand the thought of one fading before the other or wearing them unevenly. Then, they won't really match."

Kuro manages to get out a “yeahthatsfine.” Shu is unbelievable. It's so fucking endearing. He knows Shu isn't doing this with an agenda, but it's so fucking cute. Shu's not even nervous about only having underwear between them, as Kuro is also attempting to remove his pants under the covers.

After Shu places his neatly folded pyjama pants with his shirt, they resume snuggling in only their underwear. Shu wiggles down so he can press his ear against Kuro's chest. The real beating heart inside it is comforting. Kuroisn't some kind of doll. He's a strong person, someone who he considers an equal and a friend-and now a boyfriend. He loves the closeness and intimacy. Shu is surprised that he would ever want to just be mostly naked with another person, but here he is, and he's feeling so warm and content.

Kuro begins rubbing circles in the back of Shu's scalp and pressing kisses into his hair. Shu wiggles up to press a kiss to Kuro's lips. It starts out soft and then grows more passionate. They press their bodies together, embracing tightly. Shu pulls his head away and gasps, partially for air and partially because he can feel Kuro's hardening cock against his thigh.

"S'wrong?" Kuro hums quietly.

"It's just your-you know-down there..." Shu is blushing furiously, but the darkness serves to hide it.

Kuro chuckles. "I can't help it. Ya feel really good." After a pause, he asks, “Would ya feel better if I moved away?”

“No-I mean-it's fine, just...new.” He finds he's not really bothered by it. It's just never happened before, and that's a part of someone else with which he's never really come into physical contact. He's changed in the same room as other guys hundreds of times. He has even checked Mika and Nazuna for injuries and muscle strains while they were in various states of undress, but that was different. It was all utterly and completely different than this. Kuro pressed against him doesn't feel wrong; it just feels foreign. He supposes many things feel foreign the first time. Kuro is strong and warm, and that feels so familiar and so nice. He's pulled from his thoughts when the larger boy whispers another question to him. 

"Can I kiss ya on the neck?"

He wants to see what it's like, so he quickly agrees. As soon as Kuro's lips begin peppering kisses on the soft skin, Shu gasps. He had never known his neck was this sensitive. He feels his pulse quickening as Kuro kisses down to his shoulder and back up, pressing them more firmly as he goes.

Kuro doesn't think Shu would want him to bite down or give a hickey, so he doesn't ask. Shu wouldn't take well to having his skin marred. He begins gently rubbing his hips against Shu to create a little friction without overwhelming him.

Shu sucks in a breath. This is-he is-blood is flowing places for the first time. Well, for the first time due to any sort of desire. Surprise erections happen to everyone, and he hates them. This isn't all bad...this isn't even half bad.

"How does it feel?" The redhead's voice is warm and gentle.

"G-good I guess." Shu manages to stutter out.

Kuro pauses. "You guess?"

"I m-mean, it's totally new." The slender boy's voice sounds a bit more flustered. 

"Ya mean ya never? Not even alone?"

"N-no."

Kuro doesn't know what he had been expecting. This is Shu after all. Shu masturbating is such an amusing thought to be honest. He imagines his boyfriend probably only touches his genitals when he quickly and thoroughly washes them during his shower. Shu stroking himself with his eyes closed tightly and his head tossed back is something Kuro finds difficult to imagine, as much as he'd like to. The redhead pulls himself out of his thoughts and back to the mostly naked man in his arms. "Is it ok if I keep going?"

"Going?" Shu questions. He's not entirely sure what that would entail. This is all so new. It doesn't quite feel like it's happening too quickly, but it's a lot to take in.

"Uh, touching ya and running my hands along your body. Ya can do the same too, if ya want." The redhead feels so awkward specifying all of this out loud, but he feels like clarifying everything is important.

"Yeah, ok."

Kuro decides to take a leap and runs his hands down Shu's back to grab his ass. He squeezes and Shu lets out a little ooh sound. "Was that a good ooh?"

"Yes." Shu pauses, thinking he should explain. "This is all a very unexpected good." He would never do such vulgar things to himself, but Kuro doing them feels less dirty. It feels more like a new kind of closeness. His boyfriend is warm and muscular with strong hands that feel extremely good when they roam his body. He can't decide whether it's soothing or exhilarating, but maybe it's both.

"I'm glad," Kuro answers gently and warmly. He's pressing Shu's semi hard cock into his own a little more firmly, but he doesn't know how his boyfriend will take this. If he makes Shu cum in his underwear, he'd bet money that the other boy could possibly be disgusted or disgruntled.

Shu is getting harder and the sensations are intensifying. Kuro's hands, so big and warm and not unpleasantly rough, feel wonderful on his skin. He's still not sure what he thinks about grinding but doesn't want to stop to process everything right now. It's a bit of a relief when Kuro puts a little space between them and starts feeling up Shu's chest. Valkyrie's leaver follows suit. He loves how perfect Kuro's muscles are. They're so firm and defined, like a sculpture. The redhead isn't extremely hairy, but he definitely has a lovely patch of chest hair and a well defined line...lower. Shu waxes his own chest, since the hair there is thin and unappealing, but he has his own softer, smaller line below that begins just under his abs. Kuro's hand is currently brushing the hair there, and it sends what he can only describe as a “hot chill” up his body. He starts to press his own hand against Kuro's sculpted abs.

As Shu's fingers are sliding down to just brush the tip of that line of red hair, Kuro moves a hand up to brush one of the pink haired boy's nipples. Shu lets out a little gasp but doesn't pull away. Kuro can feel Shu's hand moving back up to press against his abs, and he's very, very glad it did when he begins rolling the nipple between his fingers, because Shu gasps and digs his nails into them. He's also glad that Shu's perfectly manicured nails are fairly short and flawlessly smooth.

"Oh, sorry!" Shu gasps out.

"It's fine. I don't mind it there." Kuro reassures. So, Shu might be a scratcher. That could be interesting if they go farther in the future. Shu's legs wrapped around his waist and nails running down his back sounds so good and he's so hard and can feel Shu now fully hard against his thigh as well. He moves to work on the other nipple. Slender fingers begin to brush one of his own nipples. Shu following his lead is so, so hot. He wonders how much the other boy will actually realize that he likes once he's tried it. However much that may or may not be, Kuro will love and appreciate every bit of it and not push him for anything. To be honest, he still can't believe this is happening.

Shu stretches out his neck for another kiss as he feels the nipple harden in between his fingers. He wonders how Kuro was blessed with such a beautiful, muscular chest. The karate definitely has something to do with it. He is sure of that. His boyfriend is like a statue come to life, maybe as much in personality as in looks. He is firm, strong, supportive, and Shu loves him. He honestly does. He loves him in a way that he's never loved anyone else and probably never would. He tenses, suddenly nervous about all of this and about whether or not things will work out and what if they don't and what if they never have this again and what if he can't live without Kuro's warmth?

Kuro feels Shu tense. "Hey, is-is everything ok?" He's worried that he's crossed a line or that Shu is beginning to regret it all. He's ready to stop at a moment's notice, not wanting to push his boyfriend into anything.

"D-don't leave." Shu is trying not to cry, because who on earth cries at a time like this?

"I'm not going anywhere." Kuro reassures him, shifting to gently pull him close so they can feel each other's heartbeats. He's surprised by the sudden shift in mood, but he doesn't show it. He just wraps his arms more protectively around the slender boy.

"No I mean ever," Shu squeaks out, hating that his voice is cracking.

"I'm not going anywhere," Kuro repeats. He hasn't seen Shu be so vulnerable in years. Here is the same soft boy he'd known as a kid. He's older now and has suffered so much but he's still so soft deep down. Kuro silently vows to protect that boy forever, no matter what. "I mean it."

Shu can only manage to nod against Kuro's chest. He doesn't trust his voice. Before too long, he falls asleep in Kuro's arms with one hand still on his chest. The next morning, he feels as if things are different. Something has opened up between them, and he is quite relieved.

~~~~~

Weekend sleepovers at the Kiryu household continue. They have still been cuddling naked with Shu falling asleep in Kuro's arms and growing more comfortable with being vulnerable, but it's a few more weeks before they do anything sexual again. The next step comes when Shu is tired of craning his neck to kiss Kuro when they're cuddling side by side on the floor. As usual, they're only half watching the television. The next minute, neither is watching it, as Shu moves to straddle Kuro, sitting firmly across his boyfriend's lap.

Kuro's eyes widen. He wasn't expecting this, but it's definitely welcome. Though, he's not sure if Shu is aware of how much it will affect him. Shu is currently kissing him deeply and not grinding down, so the feeling isn't too intense just yet. Their chests are pressed together instead, so Kuro isn't currently too worried about things escalating too quickly and is simply enjoying the contact and warmth. Shu's hands are running through his hair, and it feels so relaxing. The redhead takes a chance and wraps his arms around his boyfriends waist to pull him closer...and a little bit lower. He feels Shu gasp into his mouth and pull away. He worries that maybe he's gone too far, but Shu is speaking.

"Do...do you want me to..." He doesn't have the words for it, since they didn't really discuss the terminology to properly describe what they had done before. All he knows is that Kuro liked it, and he thinks he did to some extent as well and wants to try again. He lowers himself further onto his boyfriend's lap. He looks Kuro in the eyes and asks, “do you want me to do this?” The pink haired boy then grinds down against his boyfriend's crotch a little.

"Y-yeah," he answers breathlessly. Then, Shu is kissing him again and pressing more firmly against him. When they break the kiss, he asks, "is there anything I can do for ya?"

"I just like seeing you like this." Shu's smile is gentle, warm, and genuine.

They keep kissing and Shu keeps grinding. Kuro is so hard. If Shu were someone else, he would have picked him up, moved to the bed, and blown him right then and there. However, the pink haired boy isn't that kind of person, so he simply enjoyes every second of grinding up into his lovely boyfriend.

Shu begins kissing his way from Kuro's mouth down across his stubble and over to his ear and starts to nibble on the part of the lobe that doesn't have a piercing in it.

Kuro gasps. That is new. That is new and hot and damn how did he not know he likes this? When he feels Shu pause, he sputters out, "nodon'tstopfeelsgood."

Shu chuckles, low and melodic. Instead of returning, he kisses his way back to Kuro's mouth and then over to his other ear, where he does the same thing.

Kuro is on fire. He decides, with what little of his brain is capable of thought, that's it's time to give Shu a taste of his own medicine. He moves one hand to Shu's upper back to support him before shifting to tilt Shu backwards.

Shu is surprised by the shift. Kuro's cock is now firmly between the curves of his ass and suddenly Kuro's abs are pressing against his own and Kuro is gently grazing his teeth against his throat. He would usually hate this loss of control, but this is interesting. He trusts his boyfriend and wants to see what he will do. Is this feeling, the desire pooling in his abdomen, a reaction to something he finds erotic? He did like it when Kuro kissed his neck. Maybe that's a weak spot for him...he doesn't know but then Kuro is kissing down his chest and next it kissing a nipple before taking it into his mouth and using his free hand to roll the other in between his fingers. It causes an invigorating warmth to spread through his torso, and he can feel himself automatically pushing and grinding both up against Kuro's abs and down on his cock. It feels so good that Shu isn't even concerned with trying to figure out if this is wrong or why he's doing it. There's no calculating or overthinking, just feelings of safety and love and something burning deep within him.

Shu's grinding is really getting to Kuro. He never thought it would be this hot...or be anything at all. Shu is gorgeous and handsome, but he's not usually this kind of unraveled and doesn't initiate anything sexual. Kuro's brain is having a hard time thinking, but he's just trying to take in everything. He switches which hand is holding Shu up, kisses over to his other nipple and takes it into his mouth while rubbing the one he just left between his thumb and forefinger. 

Shu can't believe he's...whimpering-whining-in pleasure. He's not sure what this is, but he's desperate for contact-for more of it. It's so good. It's something he's never thought about, but now he wants it. For the first time in his life, he doesn't hate that he has an erection. It's a pleasure rather than a nuisance. Did everyone else have this figured out-know that they wanted this? Did they want this from a person just by looking at or interacting with them? Darn. He needs to-ah-enjoy now and think later. He's pressing into Kuro for all he's worth. Kuro's abs are so firm and he can actually feel the ridges of the muscles as he rubs against his boyfriend.

Kuro can't take it anymore. He gently lowers Shu's back to the floor. He's amused when Shu's legs automatically wrap around his waist. He smirks as he shifts his legs and then leans back down for a kiss. He angles himself so that he's getting more friction against Shu's ass while Shu presses up into him, but this won't do. Kuro wants to be closer. He directs Shu to unwrap his legs and then moves up further between them, leaning on his forearms and elbows for support.

Shu hadn't realized the extent of the shift until Kuro was telling him to unwrap his legs. He does as he was asked and is a little nervous after being so caught up in everything. But it's Kuro. He's safe with Kuro. He's always been safe with Kuro. Now he's is moving closer and grinding his dick against Shu's butt. It's large and hot and Kuro is kissing him again and moving against him-and what on earth is this? He's breaking into a sweat and feels hungry and electrified and a bit emotional. He wraps his arms around the larger boy's neck before realizing that might be a little painful and shifting to wrap then around his chest instead.

Shu's arms wrapping around him is a very reassuring sign that this is, in fact, ok. He's glad Shu moves them to around his torso though, since it'll be easier to handle his weight that way. Kuro begins grinding down, changing his pattern of movement every so often so that their heads of their dicks slide together. He can feel precum leaking out onto the fabric, making it glide more easily. He isn't sure what Shu would say later, but he thinks his boyfriend will be more upset if he stops now. He presses down more firmly and slows his pace. His movements become more deliberate, and Shu is groaning. Shu is actually groaning. Kuro leans his head down to kiss him on the lips and feel the slender boy moan against his mouth.

Shu kisses back feverishly. What in the world is this sorcery? He doesn't know. He feels like he's the puppet but he doesn't even care. Goodness. He feels Kuro pull away and start moving more quickly, still pressing down just as firmly. He feels like his body is positively vibrating from the sensation. He breaks the kiss and moans into Kuro's shoulder while digging his nails into Kuro's back. He doesn't notice that he's leaving scratches.

The pain of Shu's nails digging into him runs down to the base of his spine mixing with and heightening Kuro's pleasure. Seeing his boyfriend losing it like this is the hottest thing and he hopes he can take Shu all the way. The way hands are frantically scrabbling to keep a hold of his back means that he's probably close. Kuro starts sliding further up and down, determined to not neglect any spot as he shifts, causing their cocks to slide against their own stomachs, slick with precum and sweat.

Shu is so gone. He can't fathom how Kuro is doing all of this. It's like nothing else he's ever felt, and the feeling is still mounting. It's getting so intense. He doesn't-he doesn't know what he's going to do if it keeps going. His body is shaking and shuddering. He presses his face harder into Kuro's shoulder and swears he's going to die. Kuro is everywhere. This can't be possible. That's it. He can barely hold on anymore. He finally has to pull back to gasp for air. He's shaking and-and everything is dark and bright at the same time. A wave of heat and electric butterflies crashes upon him, surrounding him. He can feel it coiling in his middle, as if all of him-his nerves, muscles, emotions, even consciousness-is being pulled down to that very spot before exploding back out into the rest of his body. It's wonderful and overwhelming. He cries out, letting go and flopping to the floor.

Upon feeling Shu begin to gasp and shake harder, Kuro looks down at him and sees Shu's eyes wide open, pupils dilated. He's not going to last much longer. He's never seen Shu this...this...far gone over anything enjoyable before. Every time he's ever seen the other boy let go and be a mess, it's been in a negative way and not voluntarily. He hopes that, after, Shu will have enjoyed this and will be happy about it. He can feel his boyfriend frantically grasping at him, hips bucking wildly. It's so good and he feels like it's bringing him closer too, but first, Shu. Kuro focuses more on Shu's movements, making sure to grind against him as he writhes. Soon after, Shu moans loudly and falls back. Kuro rushes to cup a hand under the back of his head before he hits the floor. He shifts his weight to that arm and pushes off with his free hand so that he can flop on the floor next to him and finish himself off. A few more seconds of fast stroking and he can feel his cock pulsing and cups his hand over the tip, fingers still twisting around the head as he cums. He wipes it on his boxers, since he will be grabbing new ones in a bit anyway and rolls over to look at Shu.

The pink haired boy has only come down from his high enough to register that his head isn't laying on the floor and Kuro is no longer on top of him. He hears breathing from beside him and turns to see Kuro rolling toward him.

"So," Kuro pants, "how was that?"

Shu can't believe Kuro expects him to be able to form thoughts and manage to make those into words and still have the strength and brainpower after all of that to get it all to actually come out of his mouth. He doesn't realize he's frowning in concentration until Kuro starts apologizing.

"I'm sorry I should have checked more and asked more and I didn't mean to do anything that would make you-"

Shu manages to pant out, "stop. Not upset. Words are hard."

The redhead half laughs half sighs in relief. It's new and confusing to figure out when is best to ask about something and wondering if Shu is going further because he wants to or thinks Kuro wants him to. Kuro certainly doesn't want the latter. He likes sex but likes Shu more than sex. Sex WITH Shu would be fantastic but only if Shu is there with him wanting it too and not just saying he wants it because he thinks Kuro wants him to want it or that he should want it and this is the hardest Kuro has thought in a while. It's a jumble of ideas where there's no clear cut answer and so much going on in his head.

Shu sees Kuro's expression change and can't tell if he's just thinking hard or if something is wrong. What could he be overthinking right now? "H-hey. Are you ok?"

"Huh? Oh. Uh..." Kuro pauses, trying to find decent words. "So, ya're ok with what we did? I didn't push ya?"

"Yes. I'm ok. No, you didn't push me." He tries to put it into words as best he can and hopes Kuro will understand. "It's more like, I did something and then you did something and then I did something and then you did something. It went on like that, and I wanted to see where it went. I was curious and a bit worried, but I trust you, and I know you'd stop if I asked."

"I'm glad you know that." Kuro's voice is gentle and a little choked with emotion. He wants things to keep being ok and for trust to help them find what works best.

The sweat on Shu's body is beginning to chill, and he debates whether he should cuddle closer or demand a shower. The shower wins out. He can cuddle after that without the pressing thought of showering distracting him. He slowly sits up. "I want to clean off."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Let me get ya a towel and stuff." Kuro is so glad they haven't showered yet. He doesn't know how he could explain showering twice. To be honest, he doesn't know how he is going to explain that really loud moan Shu made a few minutes ago.

They sneak through the hall into the laundry room where Kuro grabs Shu a towel.

With towel and toiletries from home in hand, Shu turns and enters the shower. He realizes as he finishes that he'd forgotten to grab his pyjamas or even new underwear, but when he peeks out the door, they're sitting on the shelf just outside and still neatly folded from when he first packed them. As he walks back to Kuro's room, he muses on how his boyfriend really is thoughtful.

Upon hearing Shu enter, Kuro stands, kisses him on the lips, and then leaves to take his own shower. When he returns, he sees his boyfriend's pyjamas neatly folded on top of his overnight bag and Shu snuggled in the bed with the covers pulled up.

Shu smiles when he sees Kuro approaching. He watches his boyfriend take off the t-shirt and pyjama pants that he'd only put on to walk down the hall and then wraps his arms around him when Kuro joins him in bed. He hums contentedly as Kuro pulls him close.

"So, ya're really ok with what we did?" Kuro hopes this isn't getting annoying, but he wants to make absolutely sure.

"Yeah. It wasn't something is ever thought about doing, but it was nice."

"What did you like about it?" When Shu wiggles to frown up at him, Kuro explains, "people like this kind of stuff for different reasons and enjoy different parts, so I wanted to know what you liked." He crawls into bed, waiting for the pink haired boy's answer.

"Oh." Shu snuggles back down into the covers and leans against his boyfriend's chest, hair brushing his cheek. Kuro smells fresh and clean but also still like a scent all his own. "I liked the closeness, the newness, and the rush, I suppose."

Kuro hums. "You know, if the newness wears off and you don't like it anymore, we don't have to keep doing it."

Shu tenses. He never considered that. He hasn't really been thinking this through long term, since it just sort of happened, he has been feeling calm, and his anxiety hasn't cropped up. He can't believe how careless he has been. He's glad that Kuro has thought it out and is reassuring him on every level he can. Shu feels a bit guilty about getting into something and then potentially backing out. He tenses against the redhead's chest.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm so messed up." Shu doesn't want to cry. He wonders if he's going to get emotional every time they do anything sexual. Now, he's doing his best to hold back tears.

"No ya're not. Ya're no more messed up than anyone else." Kuro begins rubbing the pink haired boy's back.

"But, other people don't have this problem." Shu shuts his eyes tightly in frustration.

"It's not a problem. It's just a different identity. Some people would still say that people who date someone of the same sex have a problem, but a lot of us know that's not true."

Shu pushes away from Kuro's chest. "But gay people still like sex and want it. I hear boys at our school talking about who they want to 'do' and who is 'hot.'"

Kuro hopes he's not digging himself into a hole but keeps going nonetheless. "Just because a lot of people want it doesn't mean it's bad not to want it or not to care about it. There's nothing wrong with not even having it on your mind. It's just a different way of being, and there's nothing wrong with it."

Shu's wraps his arms around himself. He's still unconvinced. "A lot of people would say it is."

"A lot of people don't get it."

"And you do?"

"I'm trying. I looked stuff up online and thought a lot before asking you out." Confessing this is embarrassing, but he wants Shu to understand how much he cares.

"It's that obvious that I'm messed up, huh?" Shu's voice has grown small and quiet. There's no fight in his words.

Kuro has absolutely no idea what to say to that. It's nowhere near the point he has been trying to make. "I'm not saying that."

"No...but I am."

It hurts to hear his boyfriend sound so defeated. Kuro doesn't know if he should say what people have told him or not. He wants to be honest, but he doesn't want to get into this when Shu is emotionally vulnerable. "You know how stuff kind of goes over people's heads, like when you put on a complex show and a lot of people don't get it?"

"Yeah. What are you saying? That I'm stupid?" Shu isn't sure whether he is offended, angry, or crushed. Maybe he's all three.

"No. I'm trying to say that different people have different things they don't understand or understand very well. You are a great artist, and ya're very focused on that, and some people wouldn't understand it at all. Some people understand it some, and some really get it. You have friends who understand it, like Hibiki."

"Wataru also thinks about sexual stuff too though."

"Yeah, but he doesn't get boundaries."

"No.” Shu sighs in frustration. “He gets them; he just doesn't care to heed them."

Kuro wants to groan, but showing that he's also upset won't do any good. It seems like none of this is helping. "Ok, ok. Can we agree at least that Tenshouin has no idea how to not be an asshole like 95% of the time?"

Shu snorts. He'll always jump at the chance of being angry with Eichi over hating himself. "Change that number to 100% and I'll agree."

"Ok, 100%. In my opinion, it's definitely way worse to be a dick than to not be thinking about getting dick."

"Worse means it's still bad." Shu scoots away a little more. Directing his bad feelings at someone he dislikes isn't even helping. This is so awful. He's so awful.

"God, I don't mean it like that. I'm not good with words. I mean worse as in socially. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that this doesn't make things difficult for you. That's what I mean. People won't have problems with you not fucking the way they have problems with him fucking people over."

"So, you're assuming I'll never have sex?" He's not sure whether he's offended or relieved.

Kuro hates arguing semantics. He's really shit at this. "I meant that ya're currently not fucking and no one that I know of dislikes you for it while at least one person is always pissed at Tenshouin."

Shu is trying to pull himself out of being anxious and upset. It's so hard, but at least Kuro is trying to help it be funny. Maybe following along will help him too. "At least two people. I'm always upset with Tenshouin." Kuro chuckles, and Shu feels the building tension subside a bit. "So...no one you know dislikes me for it? Does that mean you won't resent me if we don't ever do it?" Shu is afraid of the answer, but he has to ask.

"Please look at me." After a moment of hesitation, Shu's face turns up and their eyes meet. "I will never, ever resent you or judge you. I went into this not expecting sex. I thought about it a lot, and the most important thing is being with you. I can take care of myself if I need to. Please don't feel pressured."

Shu can tell Kuro is serious. He hasn't broken eye contact but he feels tears welling in his eyes from a mix of shame and relief. He doesn't want Kuro to see, since he's still not used to being vulnerable.

Kuro is looking into his boyfriend's eyes and mentally cursing himself. Shu looks like he's going to cry, and he thinks it's most likely over something he has said. He wishes he wasn't so much of a fuckup. "Hey," he starts gently and tentatively, "would you like a hug?"

Shu isn't sure if he does or he doesn't, but it's a good enough excuse to look away, so he nods and they scoot to meet each other. Kuro gently wraps an arm around him, and much to his embarrassment, he begins to cry into Kuro's chest. He's angry at himself for being this way and upset that these things are so difficult. He's grateful that his boyfriend is trying so hard but is crushed that he has to. He's glad that Kuro is warm and there and holding him, but he hates that he's crying. This is all so confusing and messed up and unfair. Why can't he just be into this the way everyone else is? He feels Kuro planting reassuring kisses in his hair and hears him begin to speak softly.

"Ya know, I haven't told ya why I liked what we did tonight. I liked the closeness too. I liked that ya trusted me and were vulnerable. I liked that it felt good, but that was only part of it. There are other ways to feel close though, like when we cuddle or just spend time together, even when it's sewing in comfortable silence. There are other ways of being vulnerable, like talking this way. And trust runs through everything, ya know?"

Shu hugs him back and sniffs. "What about feeling good?"

"I know how to make myself feel that kind of good on my own."

"I don't wanna know." Shu huffs into his chest.

Kuro smiles. A huffy Shu is better than a sad Shu, even though he loves his boyfriend no matter what. "Ok. I won't mention it." The room grows quiet for a while; Kuro's breathing and Shu's sniffles are the only sounds that can be heard, until Kuro speaks. "Hey, are we ok?"

"Yeah," comes the quiet reply, "we are." Shu debates if he should say the next words. They're still hard for him-as hard as opening up. "I love you."

Kuro is moved. His voice is filled with emotion as he whispers back, "I love you too."

"I know." They don't move or break their embrace and eventually end up falling asleep, limbs tangled together.

~~End~~

**Author's Note:**

> This is just one interpretation of asexuality. It's a complicated spectrum full of diverse experiences and narratives. I'm asexual and my experience differs from the one I wrote for Shu.  
> I didn't really define Kuro with labels, so you can read him however you want. I would like to note that Kuro is not meant to be a portrayal of an ideal non-asexual person throwing away personal needs for a partner. Consensual sex is important and healthy, and those needs are important to respect as well.  
> One work of (fan)fiction is not meant to represent everyone.   
> If this story hit to close to home for you, I hope you're ok. Please know that your feelings are valid and important. 
> 
> As always, I tweet @usanazunii and recently started a NSFW account @nito_nsfw if you'd like to come sin with me. I'll be posting links to the kink meme fills I do on there, since I won't be posting the kinkier ones on here.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Something Scrumptious](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10442517) by [solfuric (kombu)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kombu/pseuds/solfuric)




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